Dale's Gutiar Dildo of Destiny: The Beggining
by xXpussyslayer420xX
Summary: The autumn leaves passed by the window in a tumbleweed fashion, littering the backyard with debris as the reserve was kept untidy; cleaned only on occasion. The nearby trout pond gleamed with lustre as the small fish swam back and forth, growing themselves stronger for the tenant would soon harvest thier flesh and bones to prepare for a fall feast. This tenant, had a son. His name


It was a lonesome morning as always for BasedDale; a young boy desperately in search for love and attention, as he awakes to a sweet smell of rosemary. The scent of the makeshift shrine is always something our hero lusts for, and is by far his most important task- for if he was to forget, his ceremonial rite to Based Carmen would be forever lost.

"I wonder what's in the fridge, it sure would be a shame if that fucker Brehn-Nun stole my dank orange juice" said BasedDale. As expected, his dank OJ had only but a few remaining drops. "BREHN-NUN, YOU STOLE MY DANK JUICE YOU NERD" shouted BasedDale, waking up his bisexual roommate Chairmee. "Dale you bitch, I just wake n baked and your shouting ruined my high! All you ever do is shout and it fumbles my russian johnies"said stoned and frustrated Chairmee.  
Already agitated by the lack of dank juice, BasedDale proceeded to take out his dildo guitar and blast a sick riff, nearly killing anyone who was within earshot. This blast ruptured the eardrums of Brehn-Nun, who was still half-asleep; waking him up with the force of a thousand cups of joe. "Brehn-Nun, I'm so mad at you I feel LIKE I JUST WANNA-before he could finish anything, Chairmee threw a flaming spliff at BasedDale, setting his pubic-hair-head ablaze. "FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK! IT BURNS!"

In excruciating pain, he ran to his bathroom, but in a blind daze- he went into his shrine instead. "Shit! This isn't the bathroom! this is my shrine for BasedCarmen!"  
unable to think, he decided to offer his flaming body as a sacrifice for he could not run far enough to get to the bathroom (due to masturbatory leg damage that occured in his late 30's). Still completely blazed out of his mind, Chairmee ran into the shrine with a large bucket of water, but it was far too late.  
BasedDale's ashes lay amidst the many photographs of Carmen aswell as some poorly-written clopfics, offering a very grimsly scene. "well shit Brehn-Nan, I just killed our roommate! NOW we can't dryhump him at night anymore!"

EPILOGUE:

Dale awoke at the gates of Carmenopolis- the capital city of Heaven, in full realization of what just happened. "Well, it looks I'm dead! at last I can finally make out with my lord BasedCarmen for I have lusted for this day as long I can remember".  
The magnificent BasedCarmen approached with a bold face, a look that resembled apathy. "Umm...Hi BasedDale! A pleasure to meet you" said BasedCarmen, her expression slowly growing more intense.

"After your 20 years of remarkably dedicated worship, you may have your ultimate reward, my anal virginity. Do with me as much as you please, for you have earned it"

BasedDale began to sweat heavily, and his pants rised half a micro-centimetre.

"I shall make great love to you, my glorious Carmen!" Shouted BasedDale, but before he could undo his size 6 pants, he began to feel a haze wash over him. After a few seconds of confusion he found himself lying face down on a burgundy carpet, with feacal matter smeared on the walls surrounding him. After a few minutes of delusion, he started to regain his memory but it was unclear what happened or how he wound up there. He soon remembered he was an autistic neckbeard as he instinctively plucked out an Applejack figurine from his anal cavities, pleasuring him greatly in the process. His brainwaves soon returned to normal and he was later fed sugar brownies, as he does not want to eat meat or dairy (sugar promotes muscle development, duh)

SUBJECT 194: PATIENT BASEDDALE

BasedDale, in case you didn't know; was a 4 foot tall man child living in an insane asylum who experienced schizophrenic delusions about a woman he stalked during his 30's possibly named "Carmehn' or 'Kar-Men' (his speech is indistinguishable due to large molar distortion developed during adolescence)

I'm Dr. James Norman; the doctor who monitors his padded room 24/7 and I have seen some shit. Remember, Stay the fuck away from neckbeards and don't develop obsessions about people you can't bone.


End file.
